Sunday, May 17, 2015

And I'm So Sick

... Of watching while the minutes pass and I go nowhere, and this is my reaction, to everything I've feared, because I've been going crazy, I'm stuck in here. 


radianteffulgence has been there for me through a lot of shit. The literal Cherry Bomb, the Panda, Boyface, The One I Thought I Loved, and The Asshole.


But you? You deserve your own place. You deserve a lot of shit, in my opinion but I say that about a lot of people. You really are something else, though. 


I've always told myself I am better off alone. Always. Because you really can't trust anyone. At least, that's what I've come to learn in life. Twenty one years and I'm still here, sitting alone in a room with four walls and the sound of my fingers on the keyboard typing away. 


But do you even understand how much it hurts to know that after this is all over, that's it? That as much as I want it to be more than nothing and have some sort of meaning, that in the end, it won't? That to be honest more than ever I have given up on the idea of hope? 


      I want to talk so much

i want it to all be over. 


"And honestly, we're feeling more suicidal than ever, now." 

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